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Morning friend!
Xmas is almost here! Hope you are enjoying the family time and festivities! 🥳
Today we dive into Episode 2 of our new series: The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: Self Management.
Grab your coffee. ☕
Let’s chat!
Episode 2: Holding the Moment
Noticing your emotion is only the first step.
The tight chest.
The urge to interrupt.
The moment your body is already leaning forward.
Episode 1 was about recognising this signal early enough.
The signal that tells you something is about to go sideways.
Episode 2 is about is about holding the moment and choosing how to respond.
How this shows up at Work
You’re in a meeting that matters.
A key stakeholder questions your decision.
Not aggressively. Just enough to feel loaded.
What usually happens next is immediate and automatic:
Your jaw tightens, and you answer before the question has fully landed.
you explain,
you defend,
you push,
you close.
Not because it’s the right move.
But because you felt urgency to react.
The moment became too uncomfortable.
And relief feels urgent.
End result? The room tightens. The conversation shifts. And you spend the rest of the meeting recovering instead of leading it.
All because there was no gap between noticing and responding.
I have done this many times. Answered before the question landed. And watched the room shift, not because I was wrong, but because I looked like I needed to be right.
The Swamp Isn’t the Problem. Insight from Yoda
In The Empire Strikes Back, Luke tries to lift his X-wing from the swamp.
He strains, trying to make something happen.
The ship rises briefly.
But then, sinks back into the water.
“It’s impossible.” he says, giving up.
Yoda doesn’t interrupt him.
He doesn’t correct him.
Doesn’t react to the despondence at all.
He waits.
Then, calmly and without visible effort, lifts the ship free.
Luke stares.
“I don’t believe it.”
“That is why you fail,” Yoda replies.
He fails because the moment becomes uncomfortable, and he exits it too quickly.
Self-Management: The gap between noticing and responding.
Luke tried to act while frustration was driving the moment.
Yoda didn’t push harder. He just held the moment.
The managers who look most ‘in control’ are often the ones holding the most discomfort.
It’s not about staying calm at all costs.
It’s not about being unshakeable.
It’s about staying present in the moment long enough to choose your response.
Key Takeaway
The managers who look most in control
are often the ones holding the most discomfort.
That’s what makes awareness usable under pressure.
You don’t need better answers.
You need more space before choosing one.
Inside that pause, choice appears.
Stay. Then choose what to say.
That’s it for today, friend.
Catch you next week! ☕
Vaugan
Today’s Chess Puzzle
White to play and force mate.
Solution here
Next week on www.scarymanagement.com!
Episode 3 of The Emotionally Intelligent Manager series is coming!
The Thread Between Episodes:
Episode 1 was about noticing the signal early enough.
Episode 2 is about staying with that signal long enough.
Episode 3 shifts the focus outward…
To reading what others are carrying into the room,
not just what’s happening inside you.
That’s where empathy begins.
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Disclaimer:
This post contains parody and satirical references to well-known characters, shows, and cultural icons. It is created for educational and humorous commentary on management and leadership. ScaryManagement is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by any television networks, film studios, comic publishers, production companies, or performers referenced. All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their respective owners. No infringement is intended. This use is intended as parody and commentary under fair use and related protections in the US, UK, EU, and South African law.