Morning friend ☕️

I've had a real thirst for learning about leadership over the years. I've been on programmes at MultiChoice and Discovery, done Henley's MAP and MBA, the GIBS Next Manager Programme, and plenty of self-study.

My learning has included knowing myself, understanding other people and studying management theory. Adrian Mackay's Motivation, Ability and Confidence Building in People has been an important influence.

I value what I've learned. And Scary Management is my way of bringing some of that knowledge together and doing my bit to add to it.

And yet I sometimes still catch myself offering a solution before someone has finished explaining the problem.

How to mind that gap between understanding a useful idea and being able to use it under pressure?

Grab your coffee.
Let's chat!

Thandi is chatting with Aisha, one of the people on her team.

Aisha tells Thandi she is behind on the customer-data cleanup.

Thandi's first thought is to suggest blocking out an hour and getting it done. It sounds practical. She is ready to say it.

Then she asks, “Can you talk me through what's been getting in the way?”

Aisha explains that she does make time for the cleanup. But people keep messaging her with production support questions relating to customer records. She stops to answer them because she doesn't know which ones can wait. By the end of the day, the cleanup has barely moved.

Thandi had been about to give Aisha a time-management tip. Instead, she asks, “What would help you decide which support queries need an answer straight away?”

Aisha thinks for a moment. “If the team knew the cleanup was the priority until Friday, I could collect the other questions and deal with them together. Right now, every message feels urgent.”

Thandi agrees to confirm the priority with the team and make clear who will handle genuinely urgent questions. She and Aisha will check on Friday whether the arrangement has helped the cleanup move forward.

The work has not disappeared. But Thandi's first answer would have treated the problem as a lack of organisation. Listening for another moment gave them a different next step to test.

That is a small moment, but it is the sort of moment where leadership learning has to become useful. You may understand why it matters to listen. When someone brings you a problem, you still have to notice the urge to answer and choose what to do next.

Gordon Training International describes stages in learning a skill, from not recognising a gap to using the skill without having to think so hard about it. The middle stage can feel awkward: you know what you are trying to do, but you have to pay attention to do it.

Listening before offering a solution can be like that. You pause, ask another question, and check whether you have understood. It may not feel natural at first. Practice and useful feedback can help.

As we evolve ways of work with people and AI, I think our ability to understand one another and put our knowledge to use together matters more than ever.

Choose one leadership behaviour you want to practise in an ordinary piece of work to consciously improve your competence at it. If you tend to jump in with answers, try asking one more question before you offer a solution.

You could ask a colleague with relevant experience to observe you:

“I'm practising checking that I've understood before offering a solution. In our next review, could you notice when I do that, and when I skip it?”

Afterwards, compare what they noticed with what you thought you did. Choose one adjustment to try next time.

You can improve your leadership skills by moving through the cycle of unconscious incompetence through to unconscious competence.

This means learning and applying on the job.

Practise one behaviour, ask someone to observe it, and compare their account with yours before choosing what to adjust.

Until next time, friend ☕️

Vaugan