Regulators, Mount Up!

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Hey my friend ☕️,

Hope your weekend was good.
How was that eclipse last night! 🌒 

I was listening to Warren G’s Regulate last week.

It’s tightly connected to Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence.
Especially, the idea of Self-Regulation.

In the song, Warren G was just trying to enjoy himself.

After all, “it was a clear black night, a clear white moon…”

But things turned fast.
Surrounded and outnumbered during a carjacking, he froze.

Luckily,
Nate Dogg rolled in.
Calm, composed, decisive.
Where Warren panicked, Nate regulated.

That moment in Regulate isn’t just hip-hop history. It’s a leadership lesson.

Because in the office, the same thing happens every day:
Some managers freeze like Warren.
Others regulate like Nate.

How can you be more like Nate and win more trust from your team?

Grab your coffee.

Let’s chat!

When Pressure Hits

Think of the last time the heat was on:

Execs start firing questions.
The project timeline slips yet again.
Your decision is challenged in front of everyone.

That sinking feeling? Same as Warren on that dark street corner.

Stress hijacks you.
Fight, flight, or freeze.
And if you freeze, your team feels it too.

The problem? Leaders who freeze can’t bring clarity to their teams.

Composure is the Real Superpower

Now flip the script. Imagine a leader who stays cool under fire. They don’t react with defensiveness, panic, or blame.

They pause.
They assess.
Then they act.

That’s Nate Dogg energy. And that’s what real leadership composure looks like.

Daniel Goleman, who popularized emotional intelligence, puts it bluntly:
“Leaders’ emotions are contagious.”

If you bring panic,
The team catches panic.
If you bring calm, the team steadies.
Composure isn’t about suppressing emotion.
It’s about managing it so you can lead others through it.

The Rhythm of Regulation: Nate’s Big 3

So how do you regulate like Nate when the pressure’s on? Here’s the simple rhythm:

1. Notice & Name (Awareness)

First, catch yourself.
“I’m anxious.” “I’m frustrated.” “I feel defensive.”

Neuroscientist Dan Siegel calls this “Name it to tame it.” By labeling emotions, you reduce their intensity. You stop the spiral before it hijacks you.

You’re in a meeting, the execs are circling. Your pulse spikes. Instead of snapping, you think: “I feel cornered.” That one label breaks the spiral.

2. Pause & Choose (Control)

Between stimulus and response, Viktor Frankl reminded us, there’s a space. That’s where composure lives.

Insert a beat. Breathe. Count to three. Take a sip of water. The pause is small, but it changes everything.

A teammate pushes back hard in public. You take a sip of water, buy yourself three seconds, and say: “Let’s pick this up after the meeting.” Room saved.

3. Reframe & Reset (Recovery)

Stress itself isn’t the killer. It’s how we respond to it.
Richard Lazarus called this cognitive appraisal.
Is it a threat, or is it a challenge?

The project’s off track. Old you: “We’re doomed.” Nate-you: “This is a chance to adapt.” Then you reset later with sleep, a walk, or mindfulness.

Why This Matters

Awareness. Control. Recovery.
That’s the rhythm of regulation.

Warren froze because his fear owned him. Nate acted because he owned his fear.

At work, the same rules apply. Leaders who regulate don’t just steady themselves, they steady the room. They bring clarity where there’s chaos, and cohesion where there’s conflict.

Regulating emotions isn’t a soft skill.
It’s a leader’s real superpower.

Key Takeaway

Regulate yourself.
Then regulate the room.
Because showing composure under pressure builds trust.

Managers who master the rhythm of regulation don’t just survive the night.
They mount up.

PS: Something NEW we’ve added for you! A trailer for next week :-) Scroll to the end to see the teaser-banner for my next post.

Until next week friend. ☕️
Vaugan

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