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Morning friend ☕
Hope you had a great weekend!
You can feel it before you see it.
The silence that feels too polite.
Everyone smiles. Everyone nods.
But no one says what they’re really thinking.
Remember my previous post onTrust? It’s that invisible glue that lets people say, “I messed up,” without flinching.
But when trust goes missing, something worse takes its place: fear.
Fear of rocking the boat.
Fear of being “that person.”
Fear of conflict.
And that, right there, is the second dysfunction that breaks teams.
How do you, as the manager, fix this?
Grab your coffee ☕
Let’s chat!
Problem: The illusion of harmony
Your meetings look calm. Everyone nods. People “agree.”
But what you’re really seeing is artificial harmony. What Patrick Lencioni calls the polite mask teams wear when they don’t trust each other enough to speak honestly.
No one challenges ideas.
No one pushes back.
The meeting ends on time.
But, nothing real was said.
In the Avengers world, that’s the Banner problem. Bruce holds everything in to keep the peace, afraid of what might happen if he lets go. The tension builds. Then one day…
Boom. Hulk-smash.
The danger of bottled conflict
When teams fear conflict:
Mediocre ideas go untested.
Frustration simmers underground.
Real issues get whispered about, never solved.
You get “the meeting after the meeting.”
That’s where the real opinions surface.
In the hallway, in the WhatsApp chat, or at lunch.
And by then, it’s too late. Decisions are made, buy-in is gone, and resentment brews.
Conflict isn’t the problem. Avoidance is.
Lencioni puts it bluntly:
“Teams that fear conflict are doomed to revisit the same issues again and again, because they never truly resolve them.”
Your Goal: Turn conflict into your competitive advantage
The cure isn’t less conflict.
It’s better conflict.
Healthy teams engage in what Lencioni calls productive ideological conflict.
Fierce debates about ideas, not personal attacks.
They argue with passion, respect, and shared purpose. They don’t avoid the mess; they manage it.
Here’s how you build that muscle:
Set the frame. Begin tough discussions with, “We’re going to debate this hard. But it’s about the idea, not the person.”
Mine for disagreement. If the room is quiet, ask, “What’s the strongest reason this could fail?”
Model it yourself. As the manager, challenge ideas publicly. Yours included. Show that disagreement isn’t disloyalty.
End with clarity. Summarize decisions so conflict leads somewhere, not everywhere.
Do this, and conflict becomes collaboration in disguise.
Next, let’s see how our favorite team handled the same problem.
The Avengers Lesson: Don’t suppress your Hulk
When the Avengers ignored hard conversations (about Ultron, weapons, or trust), they didn’t avoid chaos; they delayed it. Banner bottled it up until the monster took over.
Healthy conflict is controlled chaos.
It’s Banner and Hulk working together. Truth delivered with strength. Passion wrapped in respect.
Or as Lencioni would say:
“Conflict without trust is politics. Conflict with trust is the pursuit of truth.”
Your job is to make truth safe to say.
Key Takeaway
If your team isn’t debating, they’re disengaging.
Invite the argument. Surface the tension. Normalize the mess. Because the only thing worse than hearing the Hulk roar… is never hearing him at all.
At your next team meeting, spark one honest disagreement, and see how your Hulk handles it.
You built trust. Now build courage to disagree (and commit).
Till next Monday, friend! ☕
Vaugan
Today’s Chess Puzzle
White to play and force mate in 3 moves.
Solution here
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The Hulk finally calmed down.
But Banner flew away.
Conflict was hard.
Commitment is harder.
Tune in next week for Episode 3 of the Broken Team series: The Commitment Problem.
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Disclaimer:
This post contains parody and satirical references to well-known characters, shows, and cultural icons. It is created for educational and humorous commentary on management and leadership. ScaryManagement is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by any television networks, film studios, comic publishers, production companies, or performers referenced. All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their respective owners. No infringement is intended. This use is intended as parody and commentary under fair use and related protections in the US, UK, EU, and South African law.